How safe do you feel today?
Not physically.
Not financially.
In Your Own Identity.
Because when I say “safe,” what I really mean is this:
Am I secure in who I am… or am I outsourcing that security?
When I am centered in ego, I need evidence.
I need my kids to listen so I can feel like a good mother.
I need invitations so I can feel included in a social community.
I need to be noticed so I can feel attractive, relevant, alive.
The ego instinctively craves these signals. It equates approval with safety. Belonging with survival. Validation with worth.
And the ego is not the villain.
We want to keep the ego — just like we want to keep our kidneys.
It performs essential functions. It helps us navigate this physical world. It tracks social dynamics. It protects our position in the tribe. It motivates improvement. It helps us build, strive, organize, protect. The ego is a brilliant survival instrument.
The problem isn’t in having one.
The problem is identifying with it.
When I am centered in ego — when I believe it is me — fear becomes paramount. Because the ego’s instincts are never fully satisfied. There is always more approval to secure, more reputation to protect, more proof to gather.
Safety becomes conditional.
If they respond correctly, I’m steady.
If they don’t, I wobble.
That’s a fragile way to live.
Spirit operates differently.
When I am centered in spirit — one with my Creator, protected, here to shine whatever light I’ve been given — my worth is not under review. It is established.
From that place, I can consult the ego instead of living inside it.
The ego becomes a tool.
It can tell me, “You prefer cooperation.”
It can alert me, “That interaction stung.”
It can signal, “You value belonging.”
But it doesn’t get to define my identity.
When centered in spirit, I don’t need my children’s behavior to confirm my goodness. I can guide them without extracting validation from them. Then, when I have to dispense consequences, I’m really addressing the issue at hand, not punishing them for attacking my sense of identity.
I don’t need social invitations to confirm my worth. I can enjoy inclusion without requiring it to stabilize me.
I don’t need attention to confirm my attractiveness. I can appreciate being noticed without collapsing when I’m not.
The ego gathers evidence to feel safe.
The spirit rests in safety before the evidence arrives.
And from that resting place, the ego works beautifully. It becomes sharp, efficient, creative. It helps me function on this plane of existence — which is exactly what it was designed to do.
We just can’t live there.
Because when we live there, everything feels heavy. Every slight feels existential. Every inconvenience feels like a referendum.
When we center in spirit, life lightens.
Someone finished the creamer.
They didn’t put their shoes away.
Maybe I buy two bottles next time. It’s three dollars at Aldi’s. Maybe I become “the creamer girl.” A small contribution in a shared ecosystem. Is it worth the damage to a perfectly good day to be mad about it? Of course, they forgot to put their shoes away, they’re kids, it wasn’t a personal, “Lets place these shoes here so Mom freaks out!” I can remind them without responding to threat to the identity that actually was made up in my own mind anyway.
Nothing about that threatens who I am.
That’s the difference.
So the question each morning becomes simple:
How safe do I feel before anyone behaves the way I want them to?
If I need proof, I’m centered in ego.
If I feel held, even without proof, I’m centered in spirit.
The ego is necessary.
The spirit is home. It is where safety, serenity lives.
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